“The space to be confused” in the new Maastricht College

Eilam Lavy (Israel, UWC Maastricht 10′-12′)

In ten days I will be home, I keep saying this sentence like a mantra for a month now, every day that goes by I get 24 hours closer to home, and closer to leave my other home. It is already three months that we are here, live together, eat together, love together and fight together, struggle together and succeed together, 51 people, 40 countries, first generation of a new UWC college, trying to shape the college, a family in a strange named city in the south of the Netherlands. It is already three months since I put my legs on the plane with overweight of expectations and fears, saying good bye to everything I knew and welcome to the unknown, to the challenge. Many questions were answered, many have stayed open, and many new questions have joined. The unknown is clearer now, but still stands there like a locked box, a box that we have the chance to shape and unlock, and this is our challenge, exposing how far we can get, how much change we can make, who we can become. We have gone through a lot, we have much more in front of us I hope, but I’m sure the person that put his legs then on the plane and went to part of his life journey has learned so much in this short time. So many discussions and activities, celebrations and parties, things that he never thought he will experience and feel. The environment here gives you the opportunity to be who you are, or more accurately to investigate and discover who you are and who you can become. It gives you the space to be confused, to experience, to wonder, ask and answer, to be sure and regret, to have a real discussion, but not agree, and it’s okay. During this amazing period, missing something is part of the routine, break down moments appear, and sometimes the question “why did I come here?” arises. But then you just go out of your room turn left, choose a random room, get into it, 10 people sitting there are ten people you didn’t know until 3 months ago and became your second family. They discuss some random topic that I have never heard of, I join, I learn, I change, I develop, and there is not a lot of time to waste. I close my eyes and I’m so thankful for putting my legs on that plane. 10 days before I am going back home fears start to tickle in my fingers. What did I lose? What will people think about me? Will we fit together? What if I have changed too much? And what if they have changed too much? What will we talk about? What will we do? Can I come back to the life I had? I don’t have the answers to these questions, what I do know is that I am happy I have made this decision, people here became part of my life, and I will never give up on what I have experienced, for good or bad. Here we created another home, a different home. I am going back home, I am leaving home, full with experiences, like then, when I put my legs on the plane. I just ask myself what will happen in a year and a half, when we will spread all over the globe, knowing we won’t live together, eat together, love together and fight together, struggle together and succeed together. 51 people, 40 countries, first generation of a new UWC college, trying to shape a new UWC college, a family in a strange named city in the south of the Netherlands. I will probably always miss one of my homes, I will always be homeless, always be homesick.

-United World College Student Magazine-

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